Lordy, Lordy, Look Who’s… 30!
Today is my 30th birthday! Yikes! I tried to come up with a fun rhyme for the title of this post, but I ended up feeling a lot like the Swedish Chef from the Muppets… I think I would be a lot more freaked out about it if I wasn’t pregnant, I guess the baby is a good distraction. Still, it’s pretty strange to me to be turning 30 years old. I’ve been thinking about all the things I thought I would have accomplished by now; here are a few:
- Married by 26 and have at least 1 child by 30. Well… Apparently, when I was making this demand from Life I didn’t use the appropriate amount of lawyerly precision. I wasn’t married by 26 – I was married less than a month before my 27th birthday. I guess I technically have a baby, but not one that’s born yet, which was what I meant. I’m going to count these ones as accomplished though. Start things off on the positive side.
- Written and published a book of poetry. Going back and reading my high school poetry I can see that this was never going to happen. It’s embarrassingly bad. But I’m still writing! I mean, I’ve got the blog, right? And I’m trying to start writing more creative stuff…
- Opened a Restaurant/Night Club. Hahahahaha! This was a short lived and ill-conceived idea. I’m happy it didn’t happen. I wouldn’t mind opening a little bakery though.
- Become a lawyer. Check! Here the lack of precision works in my favor – I never said “practicing” attorney.
Then I started to think of the things I wanted to accomplish in the next 30 years and it was more difficult. 30 years is a long time! My ideas were all so abstract – happy marriage; happy/successful kids; work harder to maintain friendships, etc. For a second, I panicked. Have I lost all my motivation?? There wasn’t a single specific goal I wanted to set for myself. I tried to think harder, do I want to have $1 million saved in the bank? Do I need to travel to China? Should I learn a new language or perfect a new skill? But the truth is, while those things are nice, I’m not going to be unhappy or disappointed if I don’t achieve them.
That’s when I realized that even though turning 30 is a little scary, I don’t need those detailed deadlines like I used to. The abstract is worth working on now because the most important specifics to me are checked off the list. I finally feel like I have some things figured out! I have a husband who makes me happy; I have my first baby on the way. Whatever happens next is the fun part of life! Now that things are settled I can finally enjoy them. It’s like I spent the first 30 years of my life building my “house” and now I get to live in it. Sure, there will be maintenance and I might have to make some changes, but the hardest part is done.
While turning 30 still freaks me out a little, I take comfort in the fact that life is really just beginning. The best is yet to come, as they say. Nothing could make me happier than going forward with Timmy at my side, keeping me company, making me smile, and cheering me on. I’m confident that my next 30 years are going to be even better than the first 30. Happy Birthday to Me!!